Unable to Forgive Yourself?

   In the final chapters of my current Beth Moore book, I had to chuckle at her analogy about our own unforgiveness toward ourselves, even after we've repented and asked forgiveness of God (Who is always faithful to forgive when we ask*).  We still keep rehearsing the sin in our minds, the 'tape' playing on a loop. [Ok, if you're too young to get the tape thing, think of a YouTube movie on an endless loop.] "Some of us are still harboring such old guilt, it's an eight-track, for crying out loud" [Beth].  Jesus is our Defense Attorney, she says, but sometimes we voluntarily serve as a witness for the Prosecution.
   I don't like to admit to this myself, but truly, it's a sign of unbelief.  Do we sincerely believe that Yeshua's sacrifice was enough, that what He endured for us was sufficient? Or do we believe we need to continue to flog ourselves to complete His work?  Should we be handing the Enemy of our souls the darts, so he can take careful aim at our most vulnerable and sensitive spots?
   Ok, so we're past that type of unbelief. We get that we're truly forgiven, but do we still carry unbelief in our hearts regarding God's Power, Wisdom, and Faithfulness to use even the consequences of our sins and mistakes for good?
   If we hurt our children in the past, for example, through our own action or inaction, and we've seen the impact in their lives, do we truly believe that God can not only bring inner healing, but that He can redeem and transform the consequences into something wonderful?  Do we believe that He can even wipe away memories if He deems that best?  Do we believe that He can be with them in a past time and bring them solace to their hearts, since He is truly God of, and outside of, time?  Do we sincerely believe that nothing is impossible with Him?
   If so, then why are we complicit with the Evil One, allowing ourselves to continually relive the pain?  Why do we believe the Enemy more than we believe the Creator and Lover of our souls? With all He's done and continues to do for us, why do we not trust Him to do what He says He will do if
we entrust ourselves and those we love to Him? Do you and I really believe it? Then tell Him so and He will make it so.

*1 John 1:9