When it’s never TMI

  

       I am continuing to slowly work my way through “The Names of God” book* by Ann Spangler. I arrived today at Philos, “Friend” or “Relative.” It never fails to astound me that Yeshua calls those who believe, obey, and trust in Him, friends. He is after all Creator and King of the Cosmos. I know He loves us deeply, but friends? This condescension+ is almost too great for me to grasp, yet I rejoice in it. 

   This morning I began a list of what a relationship with a close friend is like. (Jesus is not just an ‘acquaintance’.) As I did, I compared each aspect to my current interactions with Him. Yes, He is my trusted Savior and Lord, but in what ways, if any, is He truly my closest friend? Here is what I came up with so far as characteristic of a close friendship:

• I share my foibles
• I share funny stories, mostly at my own expense
• I share my deepest hopes and fears (the kind I wouldn’t tell others)
• I share my disappointments, without explaining that I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do
• I don’t keep things back from sheer embarrassment or TMI
• I share my true self without fear of judgment, criticism or rejection
• I ask for prayer, for guidance, for discernment 
• I ask my friend about what she is going through and how I can pray for her. I listen to her hopes, fears, and funny stories. I reciprocate all of the above.
• It is not a one-sided relationship, with her doing all the listening, all the caring, all the carrying of my burdens.
• I want to know what is on her heart, not just have her listen to mine. (I have experienced ‘friendships’ like the latter.)

   As I ran the lyrics to the hymn, What a Friend We Have in Jesus through my mind, I began to ponder if the song accurately described a close friendship. Are there aspects missing in this wonderful hymn?

1. 
   
2. What a friend we have in Jesus,
   All our sins and griefs to bear!
   What a privilege to carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
   Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
   Oh, what needless pain we bear,
   All because we do not carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
3. Have we trials and temptations?
   Is there trouble anywhere?
   We should never be discouraged—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Can we find a friend so faithful,
   Who will all our sorrows share?
   Jesus knows our every weakness;
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
4. Are we weak and heavy-laden,
   Cumbered with a load of care?
   Precious Savior, still our refuge—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
   Take it to the Lord in prayer!
   In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
   Thou wilt find a solace there.
5. Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
   Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
   May we ever, Lord, be bringing
   All to Thee in earnest prayer.
   Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
   There will be no need for prayer—
   Rapture, praise, and endless worship
   Will be our sweet portion there.
6. —lyrics, Joseph Scriven; tune: Charles Converse
7.   Beautiful, right? True, right? But Is our friendship with Yeshua (in fact, with the whole of the Trinity) reciprocal? Do we ask Him what is on His heart, what He wants us to pray for, declare, and decree? Are we truly partnering with Him for His will to be done? Do we pray for those He loves, listening for His prompts? (Obeying His prompts even when we don’t want to) Do we do so in the same way in which we pray for those on the hearts of our close human friends? Do our hearts hurt and celebrate when His does? Do we mourn when He mourns and rejoice when He rejoices?** Reach out to help someone for whom He is concerned? Or is our ‘friendship’ with Him more one-sided? Do we share our needs, give him our burdens, and then turn and walk on with our own lives and agendas, checking back in from time to see if our prayers have been properly addressed?
8.    I know I am guilty of this sometimes. But I don’t want to be that kind of ‘friend’. I want to be a close friend ‘who sticks closer than a brother.’ One who is willing to lay down her life for her Friend. One who is as concerned for what is on His heart as for what is on hers. Maybe more.
9.    I love sharing all the funny things with Yeshua, as well as the heart-wrenching ones…and the ones that would be TMI for anyone else. He knows it all anyway, but we laugh and cry together about them. I know He holds my tears in a bottle***,  as well as giving me the kind of belly laughs that ‘do good like medicine.’ I want it all with Him. I want Him to say when I see Him in person, “Truly, you have been My close friend. Welcome Home and know Me even better.”
10. **************
11. *See post “When it’s ok to be gluttonous” from April 15, 2025
12. + condescension’s original meaning: to “voluntarily waive ceremony or dignity proper to one's superior position or rank and willingly assume equality with inferiors”….”make gracious allowance for human frailty”
13. ** “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. —Romans 12:15
14. 
    8 ***”You number my wanderings;
    Put my tears into Your bottle;
    Are they not in Your book?”  —Psalm 56:8
15. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” —John 15:13-15
16. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” —Proverbs 18:24
17. “Perfume and incense make the heart glad, but the sweetness of a friend is a fragrant forest.” —Proverbs 27:9
18. “Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house.” —Job 29:4
    “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” —Proverbs 17:9
    
    22 “ A happy heart is good medicine,
        but low spirits sap one’s strength —Proverbs 17:22
    From Ann Spangler, author of The Names of God : “Confess any complacency toward those who are lost. Ask Jesus to assign your heart with His purposes.”
19. Related words: to Philos: Phileo: “to love”; Philema: “to kiss” 
20. Jadon Lavik singing What a Friend We Have in Jesus:
21. https://youtu.be/5XsXYTWVdGE?si=x4EQsRTTIy0h3p_6
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